If she heeded my pleas, I would have shown that I can change my ways.
If she heeded my voice, instead of insisting that there’s no chance in redemption, instead of insisting that I will be always in a state of pity, I can show her the better version of myself.
I might be contented if I were to start from zero and pursue her again. My resolve is there. This is not falling out of love. It is me starting over. I will be happy for sure, if she let me pursue her again, and that I will continuously profess my love to her as I change for the better.
Yes. She will not always be light and easy to get along. There would be disappointments, of course. But love is acceptance. Acceptance is acceptance. And acceptance means embracing even the negatives, the disappointments, and the scars, for the pain caused by those can give us lessons and push us to change for the better.
I will be open for suggestions if she didn’t stay put when I do something off her tastes. I’ll gladly compromise and even sacrifice. Learning through the pain and giving chances to grow is part of maturity and an understanding heart.
She can be unreal more than I’ll ever know, far from the photos. All I wish for us is to communicate our thoughts and not enforcing our suppositions to one another. That is part of being real. That real, that genuine is what I pursue. I would embrace the real, than to admire the superficial.
I was told that I should give up. Give up from what? From that love? I’m sorry but I can’t. She will not open up to me, for she has reservations on opening up. But still, I will gladly open myself to her, so that I can communicate that it is also fine for her to open up as well. Let her take the time as long as resolution would be sublime.
I’ve seen her ways. I have seen them myself. She is still recovering from the pain of her past and of our present. That pain is palpable. I want us to heal. I wish to work hard on it. It is not supposed to be a burden that we can overcome by ourselves. I will work hard for heal those wounds. I will change for the better. I will work hard to see that smile of hers again. It isn’t mine to keep, but something worthy to pursue and claim.
Even though I was hurt, even though I was fooled, even though I was scarred, even though I was uncertain, my love still remains. Understanding and forgiveness compelled me to acknowledge my wrong deeds and correct them, with those scars as a reminder.
Clarity can never be achieved by making me chase after something that’s vague.
There is this simple wish that we all carry and desire the most.