75 comments on “Kimi no Na wa (君の名は。) – Plot and Review

  1. Pingback: The Blog Sitemap | Joshua C. Agar

    • He wanted to confess right when they would be comparing what they’ve written on their hands, after Mitsuha finishes writting her name. However, hearbreakingly, the moment that Mitsuha began to write her name was the time that Kataware-doki as over.

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      • Mitsuha said “Now I will never know his name.” She said this after reading “I love you” written on her hand by Taki. She was happy to see “I love you” when she expected to see “Taki” written on her hand. She was happy that Taki loves her too. She couldn’t remember his name at that time. But why wasn’t she sad that Taki did not write his name on her hand? She would know he loved her but not know what his name was anymore.

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      • She felt bittersweet on Taki’s gesture. Upon finding out what Taki had written on her hand, she knew what Taki was intending to do at the mountaintop. For him, it doesn’t matter if she knows his name. All that matters for him is that he loves her. Koi (love) in the kokoro (inner feeling) in the end was more powerful than the kioku (memory) in the atama (head).

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      • They did not say that in the anime “Koi (love) in the kokoro (inner feeling) in the end was more powerful than the kioku (memory) in the atama (head)” Won’t Mitsuha be like “Aw he wanted to confess to me but I don’t even know his name”

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      • That was implied, by the way. To Mitsuha, it seemed that Taki valued for Mitsuha to know of his love than his name. Love is greater than our identities, because sometimes, love identifies who we are.

        I already put it on the review itself: that …. Taki was planning to confess on that mountaintop, and that sudden separation was something that he was aware of.

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      • Oh so Taki implied “That was implied, by the way. To Mitsuha, it seemed that Taki valued for Mitsuha to know of his love than his name.” When he wrote “I love you” instead of his name? Why did Taki find being loved to be more important than the memory of a name?

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  2. I watched the anime a few days back, and by far this is my favorite Makoto Shinkai movie! Wait, this is my favorite movie of all time! No doubt about it! I did have some thoughts and questions about the movie, but I figured it out myself. And after reading your brilliantly written review, the experience of the movie is enhanced by 100% thanks to you my friend! This is a very well and nicely written review which I could say covers everything about the movie! I dont think I can find any other review as good as this one. Most probably none will even come close to being good as yours! ^^

    Thank you for the review!
    I LOVED IT!
    💕💕💕

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  3. I just reread your plot and review and I saw this “the history behind the Shintoist tradition of the Miyamizu’s (which played a huge role in the story) were long gone because of the Mayuguro (the name of the person who accidentally started the fire…Poor Mayuguro says Yotsuha) fire, and like every tradition, the rituals were still being practiced without clear reasons.” big role? Does it got to do with giving Mitsuha’s sake to the guardian god?

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    • “The Miyamizu family starts their long trek into the body of their shrine’s god, which is clearly a meteor crater, as her grandmother shares the story of the word “Musubi”, a word which is the old way of calling their local guardian god whose powers were tying threads (the braided cords were the townsfolk tribute to their local guardian god), connecting people, and controlling time. Into the braided cords that the representation of time was imparted…where like time, the threads converge, take shape, twist, tangle, unravel, break, and connect again (A clear metaphorical premonition). Musubi generally equates into four things: knotting, time, asking a favor from the local guardian god, and connecting souls.”
      “With Musubi, the reason behind the kuchikamisake is finally explained. The kuchikamisake that Mitsuha made represents her soul, her other half, apart from her body, and it is used as an offering to the local god which connects the god with the people by leaving it in the kakuriyo (Underworld), which is the hypocenter of the meteor crater.”

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  4. The Kakuriyo (Underworld), is at the center of an extinct volcano (Aogashima).
    There is a drawing in the cave of when the comet split 1200 years ago and formed Lake
    Itomori (Lake Suwa).
    – On what looked like the village’s official website, a large heading read ‘Origin of Itomori Lake’. Along with it were the phrases ‘The meteorite lake from 1200 years ago’ and ‘extremely rare in Japan’. “Meteorite lake! At least once before, a meteorite fell on this town!”
    https://fgilantranslations.com/tag/kimi-no-na-wa/

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      • Wait a minute, if Taki(Mitsuha) cried herself to sleep, why would she question herself why tears were steaming down her face while she was doing her hair? I don’t understand why they had tears coming down when didn’t even they don’t even know why? Help

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  5. I have a question, why did the journal entries Mitsuha wrote in Taki’s phone while in his body, disappeared? She was in his time line use Ong his hand to write it so it was written in Taki’s timeline. Why did it disappear?

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  6. Really excellent guide through this amazing story. You’re awake! You were paying attention! I’ve only watched once so far and I see Shinkai has done an amazing thing: picked me up and put me inside another person. Twice. Isn’t it what a story is supposed to do? Thanks for putting your perceptions online–really insightful and better than most critical reviews.

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  7. Nice review! Some of the reviews I’ve read suggested that this movie is overrated, have you ever think so too at some point during your time producing this review?

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    • To be honest, since it was recommended to me by the person that I hold dear, I watched the movie with full attention so that I can discuss it with her elaborately. It was the second week of September that I first saw the movie. I paid attention to minor details right away, and therefore, I finished the movie never puzzled over what happened. Like I said, I quickly related to the plot because I watched Il Mare, Secret Garden, Secret, and the Yui Goido Arc of The World God Only Knows. One thing that I noted different was that the body switching was like a dream to them, therefore memories wil be hazy and it is easy for Taki and Mitsuha to overlook that they were living three years apart. I wrote this review in response to the speculations of a plot hole, doing the same method as girlfriday and javabeans on Dramabeans the way they elaborate the plot. I read the light novel a month after I wrote this, and I’ve found it that my plot matched the light novel.

      For the overrated case, I guess that no is the answer to the question. Overhyping tended to form an opinion of being overrated as time passes by. Makoto-san was alarmed by the overhyping, for it brought him under the shadow of Miyazaki Hayao, even though they were different people. It quickly toppled 49 Days as my no.1 tear-jerker. However, it still doesn’t topple Oregairu as my No.1 light novel.

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      • Wow, actually Kimi No Na Wa is the first anime movie of it’s kind (romantic,sci-fi,from shinkai makoto) that I tried to watch and I loved it from the first moment I saw it. I never know there’s a tons of movie from shinkai makoto and others of this genre.
        About the overrated part, the author of the review wrote that the development between Taki and Mitsuha’s relationship doesn’t grow exceptionally well since the start of their body swapping, but in my opinion, how can they become closer and established their romantic relationship when at that time mitsuha discover that taki have a crush on ms. okudera

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      • The development of their relationship was potrayed well enough during the time when Zen zen Zense was being played. For a whole month (Sept 7-Oct 2), they were switching bodies. They bicker on their notes. They were dumbfounded by each other’s situation. They were jolted off their comfort zones by their meddling. As the time passed by, they began to be comfortable of each other and their situation. It is like a blooming of a flower. The warmth that they gave to each other thawed their frozen hearts. But Mitsuha now faced the wall. .the catalyst that got them closer in the first place.. Okudera Miki. Mitsuha did not notice or never had the chance to notice the change in Taki, unlike Okudera. Mitsuha misunderstood that Taki still liked Okudera-senpai and thought that her feelings would never reach him in the first place, hence her noble idiocy of sacrifice, which she regretted and protested immediately. That is why she went to Tokyo, which ended up in rejection (Like Sung Hyun in Il Mare). She thought that the memories that she shared with Taki were all lies. However, that misunderstanding was resolved when they finally met due to the magic of Kataware-doki. Although the genuinity of the memories were reaffirmed, they were being taken away from both Taki and Mitsuha, causing emotional distraught. When she found what Taki wrote on her hand, her distraught was resolved and she was no longer grasping in the dark, nor that she was lonely, as she found out that they indeed love each other, which was the most beautiful thing, which brought a refreshing tide of bittersweet emotions.

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      • ‘regretted and protested immediately.’ is that the part where she unintentionally cried? Why was it bittersweet at that part where she saw ‘I love you’ instead of his name?

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      • For the first question, sometimes, only when we send them off is when we will be realizing their value.

        For the second question: because, even though she would never get to know his name (for a long time), she knew that she was in love and the person that she loves loves her too.

        Just read the light novel.

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  8. Yeah, the zen zen zense theme scene should clearly shows taki and mitsuha relationship blossoming, I think anyone that tries to do the review about Kimi No Na Wa should at least watch it more than once before doing the review if they had a difficulty understanding it while trying to watch Kimi No Na Wa for the first time

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    • We can’t help them, for they were doing their review as first-time watchers. They didn’t consult at all at the light novel nor paid more attention to catch up with the story. Like I said on the review, the movie was overloaded with excellent writing, art, and music, to the point that many people would understably overlook so fine details. There is too much to bask upon. 😀

      Recall the Chimera Ant Arc of Hunter X Hunter. It was so well-written, well-integrated, and well-delivered that some audience could not process them all.

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  9. I don’t know if anyone have come up with this but after watching Kimi No Na Wa a few times I’d came up with a theory about mitsuha and taki timeline but I suspected it to be more to supernatural kind and I afraid people will have a hard time buying it

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  10. Okay, it goes like this, through my time of watching the movie, I’ve notice that during Taki went back to his body after the scene that Mitsuha had switch with him before, during when he checks his phone during breakfast, he is seen wearing kumihimo on his right hand, therefore I’ve come up with a “3 stage timeline” for Kimi No Na Wa story in which:
    * 1st stage occurs in 2013 during Mitsuha gives Taki her kumihimo,
    * 2nd stage during the body swapping and time travel event and
    * 3rd stage during the alternate timeline in which Mitsuha has been revived
    – what do you think?

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    • 1st stage my guess is Mitsuha act based upon her dream when she gives Taki her kumihimo, which triggers the 2nd stage after 3 years of the comet event in which the kumihimo activates it’s power (again, only guessing) relishing the body swapping and time travelling nature between our protagonist which leads to Mitsuha again delivering the kumihimo to Taki but this time it’s because of the feelings she had towards Taki, not because of the dream like the 1st stage and after the comet event had occur, the kumihimo power seems to be at lost because mitsuha had died (if we followed the theory it seems that mitsuha had died twice but this is time travel we talked about) until Taki drinks the kuchikamisake to reverse the time thus creating an alternate timeline as the ones we had in which our protagonist meets during kataware-doki (I’m already confused with my explanation, I will stop now, (<,<) )

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      • Too superficial. And it’s much different from the light novel. The light novel, which was published two months before the movie was shown, has already given sufficient explanation on what happened. I really suggest that you should read it.

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  11. Currently reading it, the dialogue is expanded well and it also clears a few question in my mind, by the way the above theory is not entirely about the whole story, it’s just about how the kumihimo reaches Taki at the first time before the body swapping event occurs (well sorry if the explanation is a bit off, it’s been a while since i’m using english while writing and speaking)

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  12. Oh, I didn’t mean that the timeline is changed heavily (see how rusty my english were) in alternate / different way, but changed slightly in terms of purpose (e.g. before Taki drink the kuchikamisake, Mitsuha went to the festival to see the comet but after the kuchikamisake event, Mitsuha (and Taki) tries their hardest to save itomori resident from their demise (sorry, my reply isn’t been portrayed as I want in my head)

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  13. i have a question please ..
    how does mitsuha comes back to life although the comet killed her ! ?
    did the act of drinking her sake bring her to life or what ??

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    • Remember what grandma said: in the kakuriyo where connection is made between men and the shrine’s god, something has to be left behind. When Taki, in Mitsuha’s body, went to the Kakuriyo, he (she) left her kuchikamisake, which represents her soul. Taki later on retrieved it, and Mitsuha’s soul in the kuchikamisake seeped through Taki again, jumpstarting the switch again, along with the fulfillment of Taki’s wish of another chance, in exchange for leaving behind their memories of each other, which were the most precious things to them.

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  14. Pingback: Your Name (君の名は) by Makoto Shinkai | Kempton - ideas Revolutionary

  15. Excellent and detailed (very detailed) review with great pix! Near the end of the movie, there is a sequence of flashes of newspaper clippings and TV news reports, do you know of anyone translating what were said in those frames? I am interested in reading the extra details in English of what were said. For example, did the news say more about her father the mayor?
    P.S. By the way, I read in the comments people asking and you explaining why Taki didn’t write down his name on her hand, I suppose there may not be a “right” theory. Anyway, I don’t know this person but I like his explanation the most and found it rather poetic. https://youtu.be/poBqr-Sex18?t=9m4s

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    • Those were actually just fillers (they were not present on the light novel) and were not actually significant on the main plot.

      Taki’s reason was implied on Mitsuha’s reaction (on the light novel) after she saw what he wrote. He wanted to get his feelings across and wanted to confess those feelings to Mitsuha, but their meeting was cut short.

      Even though they’ve forgotten each other’s name and memories, the thought of them loving each other gave warmth and strength to Mitsuha.

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  16. Hi I’ll like to discuss why Taki unconsciously cried after he woke up and questioned himself why he cried. I can’t think of an answer but I can’t think of a reason why Mitsuha would cried herself to sleep either. It was before she went to find Taki so she did not have a bad day in Taki’s body or anything

    Same for Mitsuha who unconsciously cried and questioned herself why she cried while tying her hair before deciding to go find Taki. I have no idea why she cried. It was way after she got up from bed so Taki could not have cried himself in Mitsuha’s body, anyways he swapped at the mountain too.

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    • Taki’s dream on Mitsuha’s body ended there, but that doesn’t mean Mitsuha’s dream om Taki’s body would be cut off. In the first place, the length of duration or time spent on the dreams is not at all related to how long the individuals have slept. And that doesn’t really meant that Taki snapped back to his body right away after those words from grandma. For Taki, those words from grandma were so striking that the events that followed after faded in comparison as if he just happened to run on auto-pilot and things just ran on fast-forward.

      Mitsuha has set Taki up on a date with Okudera — she’s sending him off to Okudera. Like I’ve said on the earlier replies, Mitsuha knew that she fell for Taki already, but she stumbled upon a wall, Okudera Miki. She thought that Taki still liked Okudera. She had no ways of confirming it herself with Taki and she had no way of seeing Taki’s change of heart, because she was in his body. She was stuck with that supposition: Taki still liking Okudera. She thought that it was for the best, and in tears and despite her internal protests, she set up the date.

      Taki’s back was lying flat on bed when he woke up, that meant that the welled-up tears made by Mitsuha on his body were still there.

      In Mitsuha’s case on her body, the dreams, even though she doesn’t remember, have stirred up her emotions so great that her body responded subconsciously.

      Remember the epilogue at the beginning. That pretty much answered your questions.

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      • Somehow your answer seem legit hehe thanks. What’s the epilogue( you mean the flash forward?) how does that link to the tears? and how many times did you watch the movie

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      • On the opening sequence (after the comet scene)…where Mitsuha just cried herself in her sleep while Taki looked his hand. Sending somebody that she love might be her recurring dream, while forgetting somebody who wrote at his hand was Taki’s dream.

        I already listened to Sparkle before I watched the movie itself…so I foresaw a sad twist ahead. But even though I’ve prepared for that twist, I was still blown away when it unfolded. I got 90% of what I’ve written here on my first time watching it, because I was familiar already to the themes employed. Of course, I was crying lots on the first time that I’ve watched it.

        I decided to write a review when I found out that the movie reviews were scarce at that time and that there were talks of a plot hole. I watched it the second time to confirm what the framework of the plot that I derived. My main reason of writing it was to show it to the girl that I’m chasing for 1.5 years already, the one who convinced me to watch the movie – Christelle Alava.https://joshuaagar.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/fb_img_1444474053963.jpg

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  17. I really think Taki had to pay by loosing his memories at the point when he left the kuchikamisake at the shrine in the kakuriyo. The offering was a part of Mitsuhas soul (a backup, or savepoint he reflects in the light novel), but it was Taki who left it thereby loosing the dearest he had when leaving. Mitsuhas cord kept them connected and the memories remained for a while. When the memories began to fade, it included her notes in his phone. Her cord made it possible for him to find the crater, with some help from her. When taki drank the kuchikamisake he spent the offering from Mitsuha, so when she left in Takis body, she had to leave the dearest she had. Cord still connecting them.
    And as you say, when he returned the cord…..
    Another heartbreaking thing is: What was the most important message from Mitsuha to Taki? She didn’t know he knew about her loving him at that time, not knowing if she would make it and not entierly sure about his feelings toward her. The line on Takis hand is a bit too long for a ‘mi’ but better suited for a ‘su’, so I guess she were one the way writing ‘suki da’ too. (I don’t really think she was about to write her name in kanji, since she wrote in hiragana earlier in the story)
    Another thing. In the beginning of the story the comet is considered a good omen, to see it together with the one you love. And if you haven’t got anyone yet there is still a month to meet the one.
    Mitsuha whishes that Takis sees the comet as she does it, before she dies. I get the impression that Taki wasn’t to exalted by the comet, but for some reason (he really didn’t know) went outside to see it. He then was connected to Mitsuha by the cord, so they actually saw the comet together in a way.
    The cord given to her by her mother, to help her find the right one.

    As for the crying after the last body shift. They at that point were so tight that at least Mitsuha remember what happened as the other one. Takis body remembered how Mitsuha felt when she fell asleap the nigth before, that’s why he cried in the morning. He didn’t know, he didn’t really get the time to reflect about his day before either before the date.

    I saw the movie late (dec. 17), and for various reasons has a huge recognition factor towards Mitsuha, and having been a 17 year boy a long time ago obviously toward Taki too. So I really got stuck in it.
    It has been in my mind for about three months (fortunately not to much now.). There are so much details lost in translation. I found lots in the light novel (a must if you are going to understand them), and some in the manga. (Thanks to translation notes.)
    Like the love poem an the black board and in Mitsuhas notes. It apply to both of them, their journies to find the other one.

    Now I got the impression you know japaneese. I get ‘kimi’ and ‘no’ making ‘your’ or ‘yours’, but the ‘na’ is it short for ‘namae’? and what does the kanji sign actually mean? and then the hiragana at the end is ‘ha’ with the ring after.
    I think I need a lot more time to try to crack the key to japanese before I get it, or please tell me.

    BTW. Did you catch her, or was it she that catched you? It is easy to get the feeling that watching this movie together was a obvious hint to you. (That kind of hint a guy most often understand 10 years too late.)
    Given the timeline in Kimi no Na wa, you have to wait for another 2,5-3 years.

    Thanks for the review. It helped me a lot. I’ll probably never loose this movie from my mind, but hopefully it will be at a more normal level in the future.

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    • “Kimi no Na wa” is the archaic way of saying “Your name [is]”. 名(na) is the kanji for “name”. 前(mae) is the kanji for “in front”. Normally, “君の名前は。”(Kimi no na mae wa.) is said when asking the person you are talking to what his/her name is. “君” (kimi; you) is typically used when you don’t know the person yet, nor he/she is front of you. Of course there’s あなた and お前 as alternatives, with the former indicating formality/intimicacy (though Kimi can also be used), and the latter indicating casualness(Of course, お前の名は is the less redundant want to say it, meaning “The name of you[in front of me]”.

      Therefore, the choice of title has poignant undertones in it. Taki and Mitsuha were chasing the name of the person(each other) who was neither in front of them, or the person that they knew…never 前, never met…basically someone who was so distant to the point that the connection between them was causing loneliness.

      And when they met at the stairway at the Suga shrine, in front of each other now and feeling the connection yet uncertain of it, they finally asked each other’s name by saying: 君の名前は。

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      • Thank you.
        For me, who probably had a second order translation on my subtitles, it is tricky to find out the details. The problem with not understanding the language. You know it far better than I probably ever will, so I really appreciate the details about the title. The phrase “your name is” don’t leave that much to think about.
        The movie got me interested in trying to learn a bit japanese. A total waste according to some, but it activates parts of the brain I normaly don’t use so it might be good that way. (At the ‘learning hiragana’ stage right now)

        Me and probably a lots of other people not knowing the language got a bit lost at the ending. A cinematic and artistic perfect one, but not easy to accept for some of us.
        They probably will find their way back to each other. As you say, it is up to the Miyamizu goods. But there are things about both Taki and Mitsuha that the gods protecting Itomori want to keep. Taki has the lost knowledge about the comet and what happened earlier, Mitsuha has the bloodline. The key to Takis knowledge (and memories) is Mitsuha and the key to the bloodline is Taki, since I think she never will accept anyone else.
        Things that happened after they paid their tribute to the kakurio technically are theirs to remember, but as they are bound to forget one another, the memories have no context. They are there, since Taki recognized Sayaka and Tesshi, but he had no context to put them into.
        That gives a second reason why it was so important that Taki wrote ‘suki da’ instead of his name. She had to forget his name even if it was written on her hand, but the fact that someone she loves also loves her, she were allowed to remember. She were looking for someone. He wasn’t sure about if it was someone or something.
        As for the long time they had to wait until they met. What would have happened if Mitsuha a month after they met on the crater rim in 2016 knocked on Takis door and said hello? She is three years older, have lost her home in a disaster and been forced to move somewhere else. He is still the same boob-squeezing 17-year old boy. I dont’t think it would have been easy for them.

        I think this movie can be discussed for a long time. And obviously some people get deep into it’s details.
        Thank you for taking your time to write and publish the review and storyline, and to answer questions about it.

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      • Sorry to hear about that.
        I realized I shoud have read a bit more of your posts before asking the question.
        Things sometimes don’t go the way we hope. I can only rephrase Okudera Miki. (I think you know where in the movie.)

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      • Time flies. It’s been two years since I wrote this, and a year since she and I were talking. From Tachibana Taki, becoming Tohno Takaki (5 cm/s):

        いつでも捜しているよ
        どっかに君の姿を

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  18. I haven’t seen that movie (5cm/s), only read a short description of it. I will probably never watch it either since it seems to be too heartbreaking for me.
    Walking away smiling at the sarcasm of life don’t feel as a good state to be in. Such things might end up in bitternes, which is no good companion in life.
    Send her a message just to ask if she is ok. It might end with her yelling at you, but she will appreciate it.
    Otherwise you may loose a potential very good friend. (actually both of you)

    Once, a long time ago (… in a galaxy… (well not)) I knew a girl. We got close, people arround us thougt we were together. We were in love, but no one of us confessed. Well she did in a way I didn’t understand, even if she pointed it out to me. I understood several years later. So, I lost her. Listened very much to the Def Leppard tune “Love bites” for a while, and haven’t since then. (30 years ago). She moved to another city and university but we kept holding on as friends, and actually now and then spent hours talking on the phone. Sometimes it is really nice to have a great friend who really knows you to talk to.
    I got my exam, my girlfriend hers and we happend to move to the same city as my friend. We got invited to her for a chat (and tea and cookies). She were having some other friends there as well and her ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend – “so she could check her out”. The thougt later came to me that it probably applied to me and my girlfriend as well.
    We lost contact as things happens. I know she had (hope it still is have) a nice husband and I hope she is happy.
    She got a piece of my heart, and I’ve probably got a piece of hers, and that’s the way it is.
    The girlfriend later turned into my wife and I can’t imagine a life without her.

    Maybe a bit too personal but…
    Take care

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    • It is a tough thing to ponder upon. Her struggle and pain nowadays was culpable. I wanted to be there and comfort her. But all the avenues to reach her were cut off.

      What matters to me right now is that she gets well and overcome her depression, even if that means that I won’t get to see her again.

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      • It is so bad that you are not allowed to reach her?
        I really feel sorry for you two.
        (I have actually written a longer relpy, without fully thinking about what you wrote above, but I don’t know if it is appropriate to post it.)
        Basicly I really believe you have to talk to each other to get out of this. And that she needs to know that you want to support her as good as you can.

        Take care, and be brave.
        Both of you

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      • Yes. She was even upset that I wrote what happened when I was with her (even was threatening to sue).

        And I already did what you told. Broke the barrier. Reached out. And told her to cheer up.

        I have yet to see her reply (More on that I was afraid to open my inbox now). I was kinda expecting words like “shininasai” from her.

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  19. Sometimes it is strange that someone gets to care about people he never met who struggle in life.
    I cherish life, I cherish love, that’s it.
    I have got my bumps and bruises from it, and still do it.

    When walking in the woods together with my gf, We met a person who didn’t want to live anymore. She planed to stay there and let the cold of the night take her. What do you say to someone in that situation? I talked to her, got her to follow us. My gf had a long walk to get a car. I stayed with the suicidal girl. Talked to her tried to convince her to stay. We found out about someone she trusted, someone who could take over from us and help her.
    That night when we got home I was tired. I was crying, shaking.
    I can only hope it ended well for that girl. Do I want to do this again – no. Would I do it if needed – yes. It cost lots to help sometimes, but for me it’s just a few days, for her the cost would have been too high.

    I know why people sometimes is found dead in a snowdrift. They are soft and comfy if you are dead tired. You know you should not fall asleep in them, but just to sit and rest for a while, closing your eyes can’t harm, you are so tired. I kept on fighting, walking to get to the warmth at home. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have written this.

    I cherish life.

    When it came to that girl I wrote about, it was what you call a harem situation in the end, and I felt then that she was stolen from me. Would I trust her now after not seeing her for 20 years? Instinctively – definitely yes I would, as a good friend.

    I still cherish love.

    I also have got treatment for a depression once, a light one but nevertheless. Being an analytic person I tend to notice things. No drugs, but I got professional help. The first weeks was about acceptance and getting at peace with my condition. Within seven weeks I had to start meeting and work with what caused it.

    J: You asked her to cheer up. That was a big mistake. Sometimes you don’t ask for anything. You just have to be there, and take whatever shit comes. Then later you might have something to build upon.

    The starting point in my thinking is that whenever someone you know is in a kind of crisis try to tell him/her that you care, don’t expect any answer or anything, give help if needed even if it is just to get food home. The hard thing is to know if it’s the right thing to do. And in most cases I have got the impression that it is. I am not a psychiatrist or something like that and this is all thoughts from human experience, with no functional guaranties.
    I don’t really know if it is appropriate for me to say anything either, but one thing about beeing human I think is to at least try to care for others, and as I stumbled into this….
    And one thing about being male is that you screw up things too, especially when your’re young.

    At some point of life you realize that such things a prestige, honour and fancy titles are in fact worth nothing to what is really important.

    Some of this text is aimed to both of you, I don’t know if you ever will read this girl-san, but it all is written in good intention.
    This is written to you even if I don’t know you or actually know anything about you:
    Even if you think he is (fill in whatever unpleasent words you know and invent some more if needed). He screwed up, he admits that, and as far I know is sorry about that. He reach out with his hand to try to support you and for the sake of both of you try to take it. You don’t have to be nice to him since he made your world crumble and fall apart, but he will at least try to get you back to the top of the world again. (And if he isn’t honest about that, you have my permission to kick him in a soft spot).
    Yes you hate him, he betrayed you, he rejected you and made you feel bad. The worst thing is that even with all those feelings one tend to mourn the other one, the one one loved and trusted, and hate oneself for that. You have known him for long, and I think you actually have had some good times together and that still really means a lot to you, even if you don’t want it to be that way. Yes you want to punish him for many things. I wouldn’t be happy about some of his rather frank writing either. The worst thing about having diaries on the web. But is it worth all the sadness and effort?
    Talk to him, I think not doing that is worse. Yell at him if it makes you feel better.
    You have to believe in me when I tell you that I know how it feels when someone gets stolen from you. I also know that to fight with oneself is hard, it wears on you in an unpleasant way. You have the burden to be the bravest of you two. And I think you can make it.
    I think I have understood that it is you who should listen to ‘Love bites’. I think we are many in this world who have listened to that one when unhappy.
    Cherish the good memories, even if it hurts in the beginning. In the end it is those that are worth remembering. Loosing them means loosing a hopefully happy period of your life.

    To both of you:
    (Unfortunately) I think you need each other to get out of this. A lot of talking, maybe not allways in a civilized tone, but I hope that you can do it.
    You have a base of common memories, and probably have had some good time together too. Remember that!
    Don’t expect things to be easy, you have a long way to go, trust to rebuild and it will not be easy.
    Take your time, you have lots to talk about and listen to.
    In the end things will never be as before. I hope you both come out strong. As friends that will reach out for the other when the world crumbles under his/her feet (I hope it will not, but sometimes life is rough). But in reality, if you can get to a point where BOTH of you are comfortable to move on, thats good too. Even better if you get as far that you now and then just check with one another that the other one is ok.
    I hope that you at some point will have the pleasure of watching movies together which might be an utopian thought. If I notice that point and still remember it, I have some recomendations.

    People fall in love and break up all the time, sometimes nicely and sometimes in rather unpleasant ways. People make mistakes, we are not more than humans. Some mistakes can be repaired even if it is hard, some not. All those divorces where people fight like hell, feeding lawyers and even worse, use their own children as amunition. If people only could be a bit more civilized. But when deep feelings come in it is hard.

    Life is sometime hard on us, but it can also contain immense beauty. The difficult part is to remember the beauty when everything seems hopeless.

    The end of the Def Leppard lyrics is ‘Love is hell’. Sometimes it is, but most of the time it actually is beautiful.
    And, yes, I am an optimist, a dreamer and a fan of happy endings.

    I hope your drama ends in a good way for you both.
    Take care and be brave..
    ..Both of you

    Like

    • A clarification:
      Kicking in a soft spot is methaphorical. It’s ok (heel kick in high heels) if someone tries to assult you or something worse. (Breaking up in a bad way doesn’t count as assult.)

      Girl-san: If you actually are getting better and start to feel ok. It really is good for you. I hope you will get past this and dare to get involved in relations in the future (we all do somehow). After all is all about what you feel, and think about things that count. I hope you can keep the good memories of your past and get to a point where you can enjoy the future. (Even better if you allready got past that point.)
      I hope you don’t get too upset about my writing. If you find something useful in it, keep it, otherwise discard it (except the kicking clarification).
      The bottom line is however: try to be nice to one another, even if it is hard.
      Don’t waste energy on hating him though, it is not worth it.

      He made some bad decisions that will affect both of your lives and memories for a long time to come, you both have to live with that and make the best you can of it.

      Now I have messed too much with your lives allready.
      Good luck to both of you
      Take care, and be brave.

      Like

      • I just remembered that I was not finished with you yet.
        J:
        If she finds it unconfortable to be exposed by name and picture in your pages, go through you posts and remove. You don’t have to remove your thoughts and feelings, remove references (name and pictures) that give her away.
        It is the least thing you can do for her. Especially if she hasn’t given you her permission to publish name and picture.
        You can still refer to her like the girl, and maybe even use a short name you called her if you want to be really personal to her, but nothing that the rest of the world can use to find her.
        And in the future don’t never ever publish the name of a person, no matter how much you love her. It might be ok if she feels it is allright, knowing that she probably will be there forever.

        This is not a scientific paper, this is real life. The difference is massive.
        I can understand that you want to tell your story but some parts are best to be left out, for the sake of everyone involved. It might disturb you, be against your principles, but it is another person we talk about, someone you care about.

        People will find your old pages, they do good for some of them, explaining movies that are hard to understand, revealing details of them that make them fantastic. They will at the same time find her, and I am not sure if she is happy about that.
        If you ever hope to regain some trust from her, go through your pages! If you feel that you want to tell her, do it respectfully. Don’t tell her that it was a marvelous idea of your own or something like that. And think more than twice about what you write to her. Ask her for nothing, you are not in position for that. Don’t expect her to answer you either.

        As for her wanting you to die. I don’t think so, she is to well mannered and clever and hopefully has respect for those words. To tell someone to die, or drop dead might be easy, but what if that person does? I can assure you there will never be a possibility to apologize and you will feel bad about it.
        My children, to my knowledge, don’t express themselves that way. They know what death mean – forever gone and lost.

        You have by your writing helped people to get to know anime, and the different genres. Told things about life and about yourself, keep it up it is a bit of a safety vent. Just be careful about giving others away, they might not be happy about it in the end.

        And girl-san, you have been with him on the journey, pointing out movies to see, wanting to discuss. I thank you for that.

        I might have been rough to you both in parts of my writing. I apollogize for that. (Even if one of you probably deserve it.)

        Not too well written but, well…
        Take care

        Like

      • I am already on my way in doing that. Because of your suggestion, like Ishida Shoya to Nishimiya Shouko, I took a leap of faith and reached out. It gave some sort of closure.

        Like

  20. There are of course one more thing…
    As this discussion doesn’t have anything to do with the excelent anime Kimi no Na wa, I’m not sure it should be here at all.
    I get rather personal about both of you, something that you have no problem with.
    But it isn’t fair to her who have not been asked.
    Me telling you my opinion about what to do and speculating about her feelings.
    I think you should remove it, at least for her sake.

    The next thing I ask you, you have to be the judge of since you know her.
    For the fairness, tell her that it has existed, that you have removed it, and give her a copy as attatchment. To read or throw away, her choice.
    You can blame it all on me if you want to.
    I presume you will keep a copy for yourself.

    To you girl-san if you read this far: I am sorry if I’ve messed up things further. I sincerelly hope things will go well for you in the future.

    Enough from me
    Thank you.
    Take care

    Like

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